So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
