im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
