A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
