When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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