i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
