I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
