a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
