Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you inspire me to be a worse person
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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