Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

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(508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w

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(502): View more from Kentucky

apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

basic color theory

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(502): apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up (1-502): basic color theory http://tfl.nu/ff46

Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (3367) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.

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(908): you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table. http://tfl.nu/f3vx

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(209): View more from California

what is college for if not random hookup sex?

(951): View more from California

learning.

(209): View more from California

i would literally fuck learning if i could.

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(209): what is college for if not random hookup sex? (951): learning. (209): i would literally fuck learning if i could. http://tfl.nu/3rtk

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(415): View more from California

I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

(420): View more from

I'll be there in 10 minutes.

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(415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda

Replies (25) Good night (994) Bad night (7863)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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(225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl

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(904): View more from Florida

I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that

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(904): I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that http://tfl.nu/s246

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(917): View more from New York City

How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?

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(917): How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German? http://tfl.nu/lobs

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(352): View more from Florida

Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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(352): Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?! http://tfl.nu/wryd

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(218): View more from Minnesota

okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

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(218): okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy" http://tfl.nu/xm1o

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl

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(610): she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl http://tfl.nu/lpki

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(770): View more from Georgia

DR UNK TOWN USA

(770): View more from Georgia

TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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(770): DR UNK TOWN USA (770): TEAM USA GO AMERICA http://tfl.nu/6sjd

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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(717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK

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(401): I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK http://tfl.nu/01hq

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(702): View more from Nevada

At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

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(702): At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out. (1-702): If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week. http://tfl.nu/ued1

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