you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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