i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right