thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site