You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
