sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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