I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
