...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
