Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize