I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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