I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize