I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
