Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
COCAINE IS GR8
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
