FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
