in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
