Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
