the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
