I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
