goodnight i made you a song goodbye
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
