Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
