the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize