you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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