He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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