Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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