Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
