I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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