dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize