you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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