he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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