"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize