actually, I'm a sock model
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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