Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Less talking, more tequila
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
