I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im holly from the hills drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize