This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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