Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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