My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
