"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't put those talents on a resume
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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