hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i drank out of a bidet.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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