Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
