She is in my trunk
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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