Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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