What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
