Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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