i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
