he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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