I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
