I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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