I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
