But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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