The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
