Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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