Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's the barista slut.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize