glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
