Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
