I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
