I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Panties = found
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