let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
