Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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