This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
