what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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