Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
